My Always

Dear Sugar Diary,

Hi again!  It feels like it has been FOREVER! But..Here I am once again...and have a ton of things to share and chit chat about=). How was your weekend? Mine?  It was full. VERY FULL. This past Thursday my fiance went to Bullhead City to visit with his kids....but he left me the van ... & while I was happy he was getting time off to spend with his kids and his momma....I  didn't really get what him leaving for 4 days meant till after Friday. It meant I was baking...decorating and running for supplies alone. Deliveries would have to be made on time by ME. Little breaks would be me - sitting alone-with my coffee for one. If something went wrong no one was there to share my frustration....and no one would be there to suggest anything. But I didn't realize that till after Friday.

I have totally overlooked the fact that while I FEEL like I bake and decorate by myself there is so much Josh does for me that I have completely taken for granted. That made me feel horrible. It made me think about how he must feel every time he hears me say "Ugh..I need to run to the store." because when I say "I " I really mean "Him" . He never says no. As soon as I utter the last word of that sentence I hear the car keys jingling and he always says "Txt me the list." and I do. I txt him the same list every time:

                                                        Sugar

                                                         Eggs

                                                          Oil

                                                         Flour

                                                   Marshmallows

                                                        Vanilla

Not always in that order and not always all of it...but basically he runs to the store 3 or 4 times a week for that stuff. We joke that we should move closer to the store or live in it. Then I think about the deliveries....when Josh is here...I finish my cakes and attach address slips and times of delivery to them...then I pass out(after caking all night)  and he always just delivers them...on time every time. We also joke that people may think I don't even exist...because they place orders with me via email and then Josh shows up with the cake....so I never meet my clients personally. We joke that people may think Josh's online persona is "Sugar Shey" like a weird Norman Bates thing. LOL! That makes me laugh. (::Side Thought:: We thought our across the street neighbor was like this...he always talks about his wife ...but we had never actually seen her....then when we did start to see her they were never together at the same time...she would leave in her car...return and then like an hour later our neighbor would come out of his house and leave in his car....so Josh came to the very detective- like conclusion that they were one and the same...kinda freaked me out...and like crazy people we sat at the window looking to see if we could catch a glimpse of them together....hasn't happened yet! ::chills::) lol.. Ok ...well enough of my neighborhood watch report.....and back to Josh and his tremendous ability to make my life easier......

He does all the supply runs...deliveries....pep talks when I am in a state of self doubt...and he doubles as my " Blecha Brothers" (the twin carpenters on Cupcake Wars) lol. But he refuses to wear the plaid lumberjack shirt but DOES have a beard!;)

I think what I am trying to say with all of this is if you have a one man or one woman entourage like I do....remember that while YOU may bake your cakes and spend a million hours planning and decorating them ....and while YOU may get all the thumbs up from your peers....think about your behind the scenes crew....that small bunch that are under the same roof with you day in and day out helping you....even if it is that one person that just sits and talks to you while you decorate a cake...or even the taste tester....whoever your person is..Thank them! Thank Them OUTLOUD....appreciate them....and tell them 100 times over how grateful you are that they help....that they put up with your cake talk....your "Cake Wreck" tears....your long hours and messy kitchen.....that they may even chip in and go buy more sugar at 3am because you just made 3 batches of fondant and they turned out bad and now your in a panic because delivery is 8am and you put it off till the last minute!

That's the kind of help I have...so when he went away this weekend....I felt and realized all  he does....and I will never again overlook anything......ever. I will thank him just for existing....and holding my hand through every great accomplishment and even my not so great ones. Because regardless if it has to do with cakes....or just life...He is always there. Always.